Conrad's Thought Provoker
The article I read over lunch today was about one of America’s most experienced mountaineers, Conrad Anker. He and Alex Lowe, his best friend and climbing partner for over 15 years, were climbing in the Himalayas in the late 1990's when an avalanche ripped down the mountain and took Alex with it, never to be seen again. Alex left three young children and a wife behind.
That portion of the story was sad, but the following section was thought provoking. Here's why...
While grieving and dealing with the loss of his dearest friend, Conrad spent a lot of time with Alex's widow Jenny who was also obviously dealing with the tragedy. Conrad felt a sense of responsibility for the family as the closest friend, and provided some comfort and care for them, visiting on a regular basis, and giving birthday and Christmas presents to the young children. The long story short—Conrad cultures a romance for Jenny and marries her after a year or two.
It was very thought provoking (at least to me). For one thing, who would you rather have taking care of your surviving spouse? Who would you rather have taking care of your surviving children? Few people understand you, your desires and ambitions, your priorities, or your values like your closest friend. Both the friend and the spouse are struck with the same loneliness, sorrow, and tremendous void. Would it be too weird? Does it heighten the awkwardness if the living spouse met you (the dead one) and your best friend at the same time, hence making a conscientious choice to become romantically involved with just one of the two. Is it worrisome that the person might have had an interest in the living spouse all along?
Your thoughts?
In this case, I believe Alex and Jenny were friends before Conrad came along.
(This is a significant shortening of a complex story. The exact number of years might be slightly different; I approximated, based on my understanding of the story. The complete article is: “The Climber Comes Down to Earth,” by Daniel Duane. It was originally published in Outside Magazine in May 2001. The book that I am reading contains a collection of articles from Outside Magazine and is entitled Outside 25—Classic Tales and New Voices from the Frontiers of Adventure.)
That portion of the story was sad, but the following section was thought provoking. Here's why...
While grieving and dealing with the loss of his dearest friend, Conrad spent a lot of time with Alex's widow Jenny who was also obviously dealing with the tragedy. Conrad felt a sense of responsibility for the family as the closest friend, and provided some comfort and care for them, visiting on a regular basis, and giving birthday and Christmas presents to the young children. The long story short—Conrad cultures a romance for Jenny and marries her after a year or two.
It was very thought provoking (at least to me). For one thing, who would you rather have taking care of your surviving spouse? Who would you rather have taking care of your surviving children? Few people understand you, your desires and ambitions, your priorities, or your values like your closest friend. Both the friend and the spouse are struck with the same loneliness, sorrow, and tremendous void. Would it be too weird? Does it heighten the awkwardness if the living spouse met you (the dead one) and your best friend at the same time, hence making a conscientious choice to become romantically involved with just one of the two. Is it worrisome that the person might have had an interest in the living spouse all along?
Your thoughts?
In this case, I believe Alex and Jenny were friends before Conrad came along.
(This is a significant shortening of a complex story. The exact number of years might be slightly different; I approximated, based on my understanding of the story. The complete article is: “The Climber Comes Down to Earth,” by Daniel Duane. It was originally published in Outside Magazine in May 2001. The book that I am reading contains a collection of articles from Outside Magazine and is entitled Outside 25—Classic Tales and New Voices from the Frontiers of Adventure.)
posted by Eddy Zakes at 4:17 PM
2 Comments:
Tim has told me that if he was ever in trouble, he would entrust me entirely to one of his best friends. I have felt that if something ever did happen. I would be happy to turn to the friend. However, I don't know that I would be able to ever get romantically involved with him. Granted, he has never been my friend. Now on the flip side, if it was a mutual friend, or my friend to start with, there might be a potential. This might not have been at all what you were looking for. It is a very interesting question though.
It is exactly what I was thinking. It is just a bit weird/hard to consider under normal circumstances.
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